She wanted this. And I wanted her to have it. I wanted her to be happy. But now that I have it, I realize that she’s happy and I’m not.
I'm Glad My Mom Died
by Jennette McCurdy
Genre: Memoir
About: Jennette McCurdy was the star of hit Nickelodeon show, iCarly. Fans of kids grew up laughing with her and loving her for it. But she never wanted to act. She never wanted fame. This memoir tells the story of her childhood and the growing realisation that mothers don't always have their kids best interest at heart.
The Good
This is incredibly absorbing. I listened to it as an audiobook (narrated by the author herself) and found myself so deeply engrossed with Jennette's voice. I never watched iCarly and I didn't know who she was before this book came out, but she's clearly a talented writer. The context she gives of her life really helps you to understand how addictions can begin and how they shape personality (or rob the person of one). Her relationship with her mother is obviously complex, but she's honest and insightful with her memories of someone that really defined her life. It's a deeply personal memoir. I can't relate to any of the trauma she's suffered, but her voice is so strong that it felt therapeutic to listen to. You could feel how necessary this story was for her to piece together. It's deeply troubling, and it's deeply healing. The scene she has with her therapist Jeff towards the end was so brilliantly written.
The Bad
I would be curious what the reading experience is for people who know her, worked with her or grew up watching her because I'm sure that adds layers or further context to some of the events she talks about. There is also quite a lot of (necessary) discussion about food obsession and body insecurity which would be major red flags for anyone who has struggled with an eating disorder.
The Somewhat Iffy
There were moments where I felt like I didn't have a good sense of where we were in her timeline. She's almost ageless on the page and that's part of an issue she is aware of: the lost childhood, the fear of growing up. But it does mean that there are times when years past by very quickly and yet I didn't get a sense of what changed during those years.
And, no doubt out of respect and privacy for them, she doesn't go into the details of her closest friendships, or delve too closely in her relationship with her brothers (even when the father situation is revealed) so elements do feel missing. In a fictional novel perhaps these would be needed, but given how raw and honest she is about other things, it's an understandable step back.
Overall
The title might come across as flippant, or as a tasteless gimmick to shock and entice readers, but this memoir doesn't feel like either of those things. It's personal, it's honest and, if it does shock, it needs to and should be heard.
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